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Assal'aamu al'ajkum! Help please. I 19 years old. My young man religious, he moved me to Islam. In shaa Allah I'm  read 5 x. The problem is that he is divorced and has 3 children. My mom is against what we had talked, my mom vs not yet get married should not wear the hijab to work and study, but I am a professional violinist. Mom threatens us. But the young man is very complex and is sick. Read Istiharu but the result is not clear. Most of it was bad news after reading istihary. Please tell me how can I be? Listen to mom or wired guy? But his parents against that he married men

Imam Mursalin Miah · Accepted Answer

As salaam alaekum wa rahmatullahi wabarakaatuh.

If I understand your question well, I guess that you were a new revert into Islam. You are a professional violinist and that you have fallen in love with a Muslim divorcée who has three children. However, your mother is not in support of your relationship but the man really loves you as much as you love him.

Let me start by stating that obeying one's parent and being kind to them is a very important responsibility of any Muslim child. In other words, being rude to one's mother is a grievous sin next to associating partner to Allah. Therefore, you must do everything humanly possible to satisfy your parents. This is in line with the message of the Qur'an. For instance, Allah (SWT) says:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him.  And that you be dutiful to your parents.  If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (Quran 17:23)

“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord!  Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’” (Quran 17:24)

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents.  His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”  (Quran 31:14)

My advice for you therefore is to try your best to convince your mum to approve the relationship. Use respectful and dignified means to persuade her or ask others to talk to her so that she could reason along with you. It does not matter whether your mother is a believer or not. You must not be disrespectful to her or make her angry at any time. This is what Islam teaches. However, if you still can't convince her, you can seek the help of your local imam or spiritual leader to step in. May Allah Azza wa Jallah guide you and soften the heart of your mum.

As salaam alaekum warahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

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